Adventure and heartbreak
A slightly philosophical rant inspired by Adele in Las Vegas
Lately I've been thinking about the duality of life. The drama of it. The unpredictability. How a beautiful, well-lived life is also by default a life of tragedy and pain.
Allow me a moment…
There I am sitting next to two complete strangers on either side of me. I'm mostly thinking of the significant investment we made to be here but also how neither of us could have predicted what the person next to you would look like, their background, or the history that brought them to see Adele. The forces of the universe with no involvement from us, other than purchasing a ticket, put us here in this section of a theater in Las Vegas on the same night.
The stage is set and I'm bracing myself for the emotional whiplash Adele is about to drag me through. She even acknowledges it before she begins. The sadness in her lyrics is palpable but more profound is the drama of her performance. She's a vivid storyteller, using her voice to surface so many emotions. You're on this emotive ride with her from the moment she steps on stage but you're blind to where she's taking you.
As the set progresses, the excitement builds around the difference stage setups, the opening notes us giving us clues to the next song. People around you reacting to those first few keys…finally the song they’ve been waiting for. There was so much anticipation and eagerness. Each performance more grandiose than the next. I found myself literally at the edge of my seat during transitions. The theatrics flooding you simultaneously combined with the heightened expressions of emotions around you. Tears, hugs, laughter, awe. A whirlwind.
There was a very quiet proposal a few rows behind me during her performance of One and Only. Save for the people around them shining their cameras, I wouldn’t have known. She couldn’t stop crying, he couldn’t stop smiling. I thought, how perfect is this monumental memory for them. Everywhere you looked, there were little pockets of humans emoting from glee to those visibly consumed by melancholy.
The concert felt symbolic of life's largest contradictions. It was an encapsulation of opposing feelings - excitement, joy and thrill while singing along to lyrics of deep grief, change and heartbreak. I remember looking around and being so aware of the drama of life. Here I was sitting in pure happiness and awe while the songwriter performs a story about one of the most devastating moments in her life decked in glitter and pearls. In a way, we can experience this beautiful art because she suffered through it.
To add to it, I was in Vegas celebrating a beautiful person, a friend, amongst friends. I was around so much sisterhood, history, partnership and love. It all felt so grand and expansive. I've have had this reoccurring thought since then that the amount of beautiful people you grow with is equal to the measure in which you will experience loss. The degree in which you live through so much adventure, beauty and love is equal to the degree of how much is at risk to cause you grief.
The awareness of that shortens my breathe because one my mental challenges is anticipatory grief (surprise - you’re reading about it now). I think a lot about when and how I will navigate certain losses. There is no running from the various emotions of the human experience. There is no way way to protect yourself from the lows without also cutting yourself off from experiencing the highs.
Life is just a series of corners and you’re completely blind to what's next. Much like waiting on the opening notes of the next song at a concert. Maybe that's the wisdom in creating memories - staying present and trying to encapsulate the feelings because you know they end.
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