Analysis Paralysis
Am I even on the course?
I've been thinking about analysis paralysis, self-doubt, and the dreams I haven't moved towards. One of my fears is that I won’t live up to the potential I see for myself on the really, really good days. You know, the days when you’re in total flow and you see the visions so clearly. Other days, the not so really really-good days, the roads and the visions seem foggy.
I see blueprints
I see scripts
I see me
I see maps
I see roadblocks
I see me
small
in comparison to those blueprints
those maps
those roadblocks
And then…there's what I don't see
I can't see the doors that lead to the rooms I'm seeking
When I find them will I feel worthy enough to enter?
How do I get there?
Is there a feeling, a destination, an accomplishment?
Some days I can't even see a path
Am I even on the course?
There's a heaviness here, with me
Like someone is stepping on my lungs
Like someone is preventing me from getting up
Like someone is blocking me from rising up to my own story
And that someone is me.
Good Reads:
The Game of Life and How to Play It. This book lives on my coffee table. I turn to when I’m feeling lost. It’s full of gems and highlighted all over. A fav: “Infinite Spirit, open the way for the Divine Design of my life to manifest; let the genius within me now be released; let me see clearly the perfect plan.”
You Need To Practice Being Your Future Self. It's easy to get lost in the thoughts of "how or when" your visions will come true but it keeps you stuck in the present. As this coach puts it "You need to spend time on the future even when there are more important things to do in the present and even when there is no immediately apparent return to your efforts."
The last great mystery of the mind: meet the people who have unusual – or non-existent – inner voices. Have you ever stopped to listen to what your inner voice actually sounds like? What does it say? Do you even have one? We don't all have an "inner voice" some of us have scenes playing on tiny TVs in an attic. Blown.
To be entertained:
Kanye on Drink Champs. I have conflicting feelings about Kanye but the method to his madness makes sense to him and he refuses to let others control that process. This week I found myself thinking back on this episode, what he’s accomplished, and his unwavering belief in his own genius. The genius we all have.
Explained: Time. On Netflix. Watch this if you have any interest in geeking out on the concept of time and how we experience it. It’s still a mystery, there are more questions than answers but it does fly when you're having fun and it’s ticking no matter how stagnant you feel.
Xx,
V